The Joan of Arc/Dirty Peasant Soldier Look

Not many people know that during the historical period when Joan of Arc led the French in battle, there were many women fighting right along with the troops. Dorothy wanted to discover what it would have been like to be a peasant woman soldier back in the days of Joan of Arc. She could either give herself fleas, scurvy, various bug bites, lousy food, consider knocking out several teeth, learn how to swing a sword...or she could just wear the steel helmet, which weighs somewhere around nine pounds.

She chose the helmet over all the other fun peasant stuff, and claimed it wasn't any worse than the helmet she wore as a baton tosser in the Aiken High School Band. She kept walking around bumping into things and looking like someone who belonged on the little yellow school bus.

It took me a week to get her to take the helmet off and another week to uncross her eyes. I'm having trouble understanding this sudden compulsion to wear stuff on her head.

The Makeshift Sun Hat

Dorothy forgot her sunscreen and forgot it was going to be hot. She even forgot her husband when she went to the game. He stood in the driveway, a broken man. She claimed it was so hot that her brain was about to fry. So why not make a sun hat out of a shopping bag? The strap makes a perfect hat band while shading the back of the head so the brain doesn't boil. If she lived in Holland, she could pass for the Little Dutch Girl. When using this bag, make sure it is empty. Just another one of the weird things she often wears on her head.

How Stuff She Wears Started

This is what we call the "urban cloaking SSCL device" from a class at the Guilford sniper school. The SSCL stands for sanitized shitcan lid. It fits well with her overall attire and has a built in visor to protect against the sun and deflect small caliber bullets. When used with the black AK-74, she has that all business sniper look for those tough missions beyond the office.

(It started as a small idea. I needed a story for a column I had been writing for Far Sector Magazine, and my lovely wife actually agreed to wear the lid on her head to help me with the story. I have to say that is true love.)

Since that time, she has developed into a dedicated sniper, and she can blend in with any group of available shitcans for undercover operations. Some people may say this is demeaning to women, but as a deadly urban sniper, she can tag you between the running lights at 200 yards nine out of ten times.

So now, we have dedicated an entire blog to the stuff she wears on her head at different times and for different reasons.
From now on I will call her the "Singing Sniper."